Difficulty of Dealing a Former Boyfriend Who doesn’t Want to Let Go

March 6th, 2020

The former boyfriend who does not want to accept the relationship is over, will call you incessantly, will by coincidence, just happen to appear when you are hanging out with your friends, will call to speak to one of your relatives for some obscure reasons, and will continue to ask why is the relationship is over.

One friend of mine dated a gentleman who liked her very much, and when the break up became a harsh reality to severe for the man to handle, the man became a stalker. She had to place a restraining order on him. Currently, my friend Lisa is dealing with an off and on relationship. Lisa and David broken-up and rejoined numerous times, and each time David has responded by crying, by showing up to her house even though they are no longer dating. She usually ends up rejoining with him because he is so persistent. Then she ends up with no choice but to send qute and short love quotes for him.

She has tried ignoring him several times, but that has not worked because she begins feeling bad for him. Moving to someone else has been difficult her because he will interfere, and restraining order is not an option for her because she cares about him. Feeling stuck with this guy is a way of life for her. The worst part about the situation is, she has no transportation to work, and very often she has to depend on him. So even if they are separated she still has to see him. Here is something even more amazing, David is really close to her family, and he has the keys to her house, so it has been difficult for her not to see him.

The boyfriend is very attracted to this young woman. He has no friends, and she is the primary person in his life. This may be a case of emotional dependency, but that would be an insufficient description of how this man is. David does not have any aspirations therefore he has nothing to occupy his time. Lisa fills a void in his life, apparently. Lisa has told me on numerous occasions on how she whishes David would do something with his life, as she dislikes unmotivated men. On the other hand, she says David buys her flowers, and he often tells her that she is pretty. This makes her feel horrible during the times they are broken up, because David seems really sincere.

David is persistent with the anticipation the relationship will be renewed, so there is incentive for him to keep pursuing. Mentally the relationship has not ended, and David still imagines himself with Lisa not as friends but as inseparable lovers, meanwhile Lisa is stuck because David will not honor the fact that she wants to move on.

Such relationships are hard for both parties. The one who is doing the breaking up may feel bad about breaking the other person’s heart, but at the same time it’s within that person’s right to end the relationship if it is no longer beneficial. Being heart broken, the other party may be focusing on the pain of being rejected, the pain of being alone, and the other party may simply miss the affection from the other person. Dealing with these feelings potentially leads one to assuage the pain by seeking the person who initiated the break up. The pain of heartbreak can be so unbearable; its difficult for some to realize it is of great benefit not to be in a relationship with someone who does not want them in return.